Welcome! You don't have to apologize for your post, we all have downer stories as a result of drinking or we wouldn't ne here. Getting it out helps you and whether you realize it your post is helping someone. It helped me tonight. See I'm on day 25 and the better I feel, I have to put more work into keeping the memories "geen" and belief that there's hope for a sober me. I get a lot of help by reading posts that share the worst of times and the best of times and everything inbetween. Keep reading and posting. Your in a good place!