I'm so sorry about your situation--it sounds like you've been lied to on many fronts by him and for a long time. You didn't deserve any of this and I can't imagine how much it must have hurt.
I'm going to give you a practical suggestion which you might not be ready to hear yet but one I think you should absolutely consider:
If you have access to any money in your joint accounts, I would move it out into an individual account and get to a lawyer right away. He sounds nowhere near his bottom and him calling a few times to be nice to your daughter will not pay the bills--he's squandering that money on drugs and unless you are wealthy, you need to protect your part of those assets. He won't like it, but you have your child to think of and not just yourself.
Others will be along soon I'm sure with some good advice and support.
Hugs to you and your daughter.