OK - re-reading that, it is a little discouraging.
I'm just trying to really look at what my definitions of "fun" is (as distinct from all those other positive, life-describing adjectives) and why those definitions require substance abuse.
After I hit post, I thought about - for example - a day kayaking on a rushing river. Wouldn't that be fun? No, again, sober it would be soul-satisfying, time in nature, exhilarating, scary, and physically challenging in a good sore muscle at the end of the day way, but it wouldn't be "fun." Maybe because I am an anxious being, who worries at potential dangers, and when I drink and use I can be carefree? That anxiety appears to be a central part of my personality, especially in the actually dangerous environment in which I move and play, so I don't think that's going to soften sober.
The quandary for me isn't the lack of interesting and satisfying activities sober, it is my inability to "be instead of do."
Anyway, I'll be interested in what others say about this. Do you actually have "fun" sober, or are you just generally "happy"? Am I the only one who considers those definitions/feelings distinct?