I don't think reading and meditation are going to do the job.
You said you missed the women? You mentioned family - is that a wife and kids?
If there's no wife then are you convinced that you can't get women unless you drink? Cause nothing is stopping them from drinking. And if you can't get women unless you're drinking... what does that say for you?
There's lots of ways to socialize without going to a bar.
I think you need to build a life for yourself and not for alcohol.
Seems like you instinctively know that but you're having a difficult time doing it. Sounds weird but you might try some counseling to steer you in the right direction. Couldn't hurt.
Either way - congrats on making it this far!