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I am really struggling with work and sobriety

Old 12-04-2014, 01:37 PM
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I am really struggling with work and sobriety

I am in sales and we had the motto "work hard and play hard" I used to love to sell all week and use the money to get high off of booze. It was a great high. I miss those days so much. I miss drinking and feeling good so much. Today I woke up on my day off and I had a stomach ache. I get mad that I have a stomach ache and no longer is there really any great high's to go after. I miss the woman and the social aspect of drinking. I can still go out but it is not the same. Whenever I go out now I just look at the drinks to protect my sobriety then I go home early so I can "WIN" another day as AA puts it. I am doing this for my family and myself. I don't want to die a person that harmed my family with my drinking, but I really don't now if I can go on just feeling crappy. I blame myself for my health issues because my stomach and liver is messed up from the drinking. I told my feelings to people and they just tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself and I should look at the bright side. I am grateful for a roof over my head and I am grateful for food on my table but whats the point if you are just going to feel bad anymore. I am starting to lose hope there will be any consistant happiness again. Oh well I suppose.
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Old 12-04-2014, 01:41 PM
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I'm really sorry that you feel this way, McRibb.

What other changes have you made in your life besides not drinking? Have you added things to your life that you enjoy doing? I hope that you can find things to do sober that you enjoy.
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Old 12-04-2014, 01:48 PM
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Ditto what Anna said. What have you added?

I'm willing to bet that drinking wasn't all it was cracked up to be if you joined here. Early on everything is new and mostly not a happy place. Until you start adding the joy back in gradually. From the AA promises: Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Sometimes it is mostly "sometimes slowly." Growth is sometimes painful. This could be part of what you are going through. Hang in there.
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Old 12-04-2014, 01:59 PM
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I have tried to add stuff like reading and meditation, but it just seems like I work all the time trying to get bills paid. Everyone is like "You should go for a walk!" or do this and that, but after work I am just too tired or nothing seems interesting. People are like you should get a different job, but I have bills and a family. So I am just venting to cope. I don't vent like this in real life because no one around me deserves to be miserable. Finding it hard to cope that this is probably all there is.
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Old 12-04-2014, 02:02 PM
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Heard a guy in group today with several years sobriety having some issues.......He talked to his sponsor and the gent said - You were doing well, what's changed???

He replied - nothing.
Sponsor said, there ya go!

Is there something you can change? In reading some of your older posts you were so encouraging to others!!! Wonderful stuff, truly helpful. You seemed to have had such a great sense of spirituality........

I don't have long term sobriety, but what I have learned is that "great feeling" I thought I had from booze was longgggg gone. All that remained were the lousy consequences. The memory was just a fantasy - like the pretty girl I wish I dated when I was younger..........

Life isn't easy. Booze and drugs always makes it worse for people like us.

Glad you posted and hope you find a way to work through it. I see your sobriety date as 4+ years!!!! That's amazing!!!

Stay with us, OTHERS need your help

FlyN
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Old 12-04-2014, 02:15 PM
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I don't think reading and meditation are going to do the job.

You said you missed the women? You mentioned family - is that a wife and kids?

If there's no wife then are you convinced that you can't get women unless you drink? Cause nothing is stopping them from drinking. And if you can't get women unless you're drinking... what does that say for you?

There's lots of ways to socialize without going to a bar.

I think you need to build a life for yourself and not for alcohol.

Seems like you instinctively know that but you're having a difficult time doing it. Sounds weird but you might try some counseling to steer you in the right direction. Couldn't hurt.

Either way - congrats on making it this far!
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Old 12-04-2014, 02:42 PM
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I agree with Anna

Could this be mild depression ? how long have you felt this way ?

Glad your here to vent friend
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