Thanks Sparklekitty - I feel (mostly) strong and determined. This hurts a lot, but nothing like the lonely, bitter, chaotic confusion and pain of living with, and trying to help, an active alcoholic. They say you know when you've had enough. It's true. I realized, suddenly, that I was beating my head against a wall...over and over and over again. The promises mean nothing anymore. As a matter of fact, I got to a point where I wanted to punch him every time the words "I'm sorry, I promise I'll fix this" came out of his mouth. If I had a dime for every time....
I have a feeling that a lot of the anxiety will diminish once everything of his is out on Saturday. At that point, he'll have absolutely no reason to contact me anymore. At least the hurt now is a peaceful kind of hurt - I know there is an end in sight.