Great Post - Thanks
All I can say is, I get it...the fear of going to the first AA meeting, etc.
You came here for help and needing to trust someone on what do do.
IMHO - You are spot on in your thoughts of going to a meeting, I was shaking and terrified to go, but was out of options.
They will allow you to listen - there is usually a minor introduction as they go around and introduce themselves. Most people just say I am ***** and I am an alcoholic. After that, you need never say another word if you don't want. Just sit, listen and take it in. There is a chance they may approach you after a meeting and extend a hand or chat to make sure you are okay... up to you if you chat or not.
Good luck on this journey - it can be wonderful