Twentyfive, I don't think that there is one person here who didn't have at least one try before it stuck.
I agree about the intensity- there are many here who relapse a few times and are too ashamed to come back, or come back in a new name, and that is sad, because we've all been there.
I must have tried 20 times to give up over the years, but no one saw me try and fail.
I think what we can do is look at relapse as learning experience on what needs to change for success.