Hello everybody. I am new to the forum, have been lurking for a few days, just found the forum last week after my first al-anon moderator recommended it. I live in a mostly rural area and there aren't many meetings for us. I hope you all don't mind my 2 cents worth.
I feel your pain, BulldogLover, I really do.
I am married to a RAW. We have had several months of abstinence in the past but no real sobriety, or so she told me recently. She is in rehab now after a solid month of bingeing. The trigger? likely PTSD from moving to her old hometown. There are no guarantees with this selfish disease, even the recovery is selfish. In your case tho, as I read from your description of the situation, you do have a little life for whom you are at present responsible. Please keep the little one in mind when you make your decisions. Is your BF the daddy? DO you want him in this condition near the baby? can you trust him with an infant? If you place yourself and the baby first and second, you might notice the slot for third gets smaller by the second and your decision might be easier to make. You might even have to consider whether to allow him to have any contact with baby later in life when baby is around- that might be a tough one, but again, think of the outcome. What would you want the outcome to be, good or bad? And go with the best possible outcome you would want. Or in other words, it's like trying to get a car out of a spin on ice- do not apply brakes, do not step on the accelerator but aim for where you want the car to be and keep your eyes open.
Good luck, and hope the above helps (and is not dribble)
The Sea Turtle
