hi welcome xxEllaxx00
If you feel yourself slipping and part of you wants to save yourself (and you posting here seems to suggest part of you does) then thats a good start.
It probably means going back to some of those folks you gave the proverbial middle finger too tho...there's nothing like solid support when you find you're weaving all the over the ice and wondering when it's gonna break.
Posting here more could really help too?
and I agree with you that if you're abusing the sleeping pills that ice is getting *mighty* thin...
reach out and ask for help in as many places as you can think of
D