Feel like a fraud
Forgot my password, so haven't posted since my initial foray back in October.
But, and please don't take this as judgemental, at times I feel my relationship is perhaps not as bad as some on here. I've never woke to feel immediately I must have a drink, I can cope fairly well driving to a bar, having one with a meal and driving home.
I recently had a conversation with a guy in a bar who was ordering pint along with a double vodka chaser. Finishing it quickly then ordering another immediately.
He was only mid 20's but looked 20 years older. I could feel him watching me eat, when eventually he asked if I was enjoying my meal.
He then told me how he couldn't take food. It made him sick and how, as an alcoholic, he knew he was going to die, but couldn't stop drinking.
I found this unbelievable that as a young guy, just out of a recent stay in hospital, he was addicted to the pointbthst even death wasn't a big enough negative to stop drinking.
I've ended many relationships due to my preference to drink solo over a weekend; I've lost jobs, even my licence through alcohol (many years ago). And I can count on one hand the amount if weekends I can remember being sober in the last 30 years.
The conclusion I have is that, whilst alcohol affects me differently from the average person that can take it or leave it, I feel it's more a selfish choice than an addicts need.
Still, been 6 days without a drink and really just enjoying the health benefits and clarity of thought associated.
I can see why this site is so important to so many.