I am feeling the same way terp. I have never LOVED the holidays anyway. I grew up in a military family so we never lived near our extended family. Every holiday was me, my parents, and my sister. Not those big family gatherings you see in movies, which is what I longed for.
This time last year was great and so much fun for me and AXBF. If you would have told me a year ago that this holiday season my ex would spend the holidays as a homeless heroin addict I would have looked at you like you had 3 heads. I also hate going to gatherings where I am the only single person. This is something I have dealt with most of my adult life (I'm 32) and I get tired of feeling like the outsider and/or having to hear, "So are you seeing anyone?" or "I just don't understand why you're still single." Thanks. Shoot me.
The loneliness that this time of year often brings can be overwhelming. Have you considered volunteering at all? For anything really. I love volunteering, it gives me something to do, something else to focus on, and it feels good knowing I am doing something positive.