I seem to always feel like the contrarian when it came to holidays. Seeing family all year long, holidays I have always looked forward to them as a way to get away. Take a mini vacation as was mentioned. When I was single, I would plan my Thanksgivings and XMas months in advance. Thanksgiving in particular allowed for trips to great places that didn't celebrate that as a holiday so they were fully open for business.
Xmas I would usually spend at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen or I would find one of my elderly neighbors and fix something at their house or bring in firewood or simple easy feel good activities. Or one of my favorites was to go to a senior center and just sit and listen to them tell me stories. Not that the stories were of particular interest, but more because they enjoyed having someone new to show they cared about them.
This was a sticking point for my AGF. I am anti-social. What type of person are you etc etc etc. So after the holidays I'd hear how much she fought with her sister. How much arguing took place, how stressful it was.....and I'd just sit and listen. Finally she'd say, why don't you care I am trying to tell you how bad this was. My calm relaxed vacationed response was. "Why should I be upset? This didn't happen to me. Every year I hear about how miserable you are for the holidays. Why should I expect this to be different?" I went to X this year. It was glorious and peaceful and etc.
After 5 years of this, she finally came to me and said, OK let's try it your way next year.
I said OK....I'll take care of the rest. Please don't decorate, cook, shop or stress up in any manner you are used to. I booked a week at Atlantis in the Bahamas that year. Took her and her daughter.
They were in a **** poor attitude the whole way out there. Daughter was disgusted. Then we got there. It took about 12 hours before it dawned on them that this was nice. No stress, no yelling, no anything. The daughter fell in love with the water park and the indoor aquariums. G/F and I rented a scooter and drove all around the island stopping at every little local haunt we could find. Anything they wanted for fun was there. By day 2 the daughter said "Mom this is the best Thanksgiving I have ever had". She looked at me and mouthed silently "I'm sorry". I responded with a gentle nod and said "No problem. Enjoy my style of holiday".
We get back to life and her sister is nagging at her from the minute she got home....to nag about all the misery of the holidays she had and how dare she abandon her at a family vacation. My G/F let out a big SIGH.
XMas is a little more difficult as any Christian country will be shut down. I personally find that traveling on XMas day is not only cheapest, but you may as well travel on that day as everything else will be closed. Then you start the mini vacation on the 26th. Last year I took them to Washington D.C. for XMas. Her daughter was SO EXCITED to see the stuff she is learning about in her history and social study classes. Mom we just studied Lincoln and his assassination...and now I get to see the actual seat he was sitting in. O M G this is so cool.
If you are able, go to Asia as they are open for business during this time and it is also the slow season. The flight there will be your biggest expense. But it will cost about the same as what you spend shopping for and buying the scores of gifts you are obligated to do by tradition.
I will take this over a stress filled dysfunctional family 500 holiday any day or any year.
Don't stress about stress. Let it go. Enjoy the holiday for YOU!