Hi Jeremy. You seem like you have decided to continue in your cycle, which is really too bad. I remember reading when I first came on here a few months ago how determined you sounded, that you were getting help. I was so excited for you. I was hoping that you would be able to see your daughter. What I am now reading is someone who knows the lingo, ie "AV , relapse, inpatient, outpatient , sober, sane, insane " etc etc and is just stringing them together and doing nothing to have them make sense. IF you want to be sober, you need to work at it. Self pity will get you nowhere in life, I think you are starting to realize that. If you have the chance to get healthy, why on earth are you not taking it? Who isn't scared of the unknown? You know what your life is like now, and the scary part is changing it.