Thinking out loud
Things with AH continue to be calm, but I am finding that more and more, I am thinking about not being with him. I am planning out what I will say to him, how I will say it, and when.
With the holidays coming, and my son’s third birthday on 12/14, I really would prefer for things to remain calm through then, or maybe that’s just my excuse to prolong it, I don’t know.
I went to my third Al-Anon last night. Starting to feel stronger. Yesterday and this morning AH was more cold to me, and more short than he has been lately. I asked him once if he was okay, and he said yes, so I didn’t keep asking more questions, and trying to read into all of it, like I normally would, so that’s a little progress for me.
Financially, the boys and I will be fine when he leaves. My parents own the house we live in, and I pay rent to them and most of the bills. AH makes significantly less than I do, so I’m very fortunate in that way.
I feel like the hard part for me will come after I tell him I want him to move out again, and before he actually leaves. Last time he left was easier in that way because he was drinking and I had threatened to call SO, and get a restraining order if he did not leave, and he did. This time he’s not, (not yet). I don’t want him arrested, and don’t want a RO (at this point anyway). I suppose I still could get a RO or a move out order or whatever based on what has happened in the past? but I don’t want to have to do that. Is that just me being codie? I worry he won’t take me seriously, because, really, why would he, after all my back and forth in the past, and my giving in and letting him cross my boundaries?
He will need time to find a place to live, so what happens in the mean time? I mean, I can’t just tell him to leave and pack up and be gone that day, can I? He has told me in the past that he will not leave, and that I will have to give him a thirty day notice, which I think is legally true? But I do think though, that as long as I do ensure that I don’t back down, don’t retract, and once he believes I am serious, he will want to leave, so I just need to make sure I am ready to stick with my decision when I make it.
I don't know, just trying to think things through. Thanks for listening.