My husband never drank as much as me, and he has all but quit drinking alcohol in support of me. One of the most startling things about getting sober, though, is that those pink colored/ignore everything /blinder glasses are no longer there for us. I definitely felt a bit shocked when I had to face that my vision of "the perfect marriage" wasn't everything I thought it was in some areas. I think I had to grieve that a bit. I am married over 20 years and I am still very proud of my strong marriage and relationship to my husband, but I had to get as real and authentic about my marriage, as I had to about myself. I realize now that I held in a lot of resentments, pretended that I didn't and drank all of my ugly feelings away. I had a few strong confrontations in months 6-10 of my sobriety with my husband that I do think surprised him a bit, but now at over a year sober, our relationship is at our "new normal" and I think we are both satisfied with it. I have learned that I just have to communicate how I feel and my husband really does take it to heart.