I had/have similar feelings - almost ambivalence I suppose at times towards my beloved. She too does not have any issues with alcohol and rarely drinks. Since I have quit she has not drank at all except at dinner with GF's on occasion.
When I was drunk and others things, I had a really bad memory. Major things I would remember, but little .....don't forget to things - I would shine on and forget.
As the synapses are now firing away my memory is much better and the need to be reminded has diminished. When my wife just wants to perseverate on something I ask her to stop. Whether it is in regards to a task or drama related. I simply cannot listen to it.
However, my wife needs to communicate to me her jazz going on as she see fit , as I do. I have become a much better listener and find that I care more about her now. But, if either of us perseverates we now remind each other......I have heard that one before, honey~
We did go to a list system of sorts......instead of - did you do xyz, now it's more process oriented. If you did not write it down dear, it doesn't exist!
Last thing - there a paragraph in the big book of AA taking about husband getting sober using a tornado as an analogy. The couple/family get in the shelter and the tornado passes. Dad throws the door open, the house is destroyed and loved ones are in shambles. The sun comes out and the ole boy says - Wow Mom, look - the storm passed!!
Isn't life great again?!?
I have a lot of wreckage from my past to work on cleaning up. Can't believe those around me are a little crazy......
Have a thread I started awhile back - probably around the same time as you are now. Grow together or grow apart......Some good advice from others on it.
Good to hear from you man.
Flyn