Originally Posted by Petewill

Hello,
Don't want to start off complaining about how much I am not enjoying my recovery of 17 months, however, I seem to be in the same pattern or mindset for the longest time. I am now thinking I don't see how I can be happy in recovery, as I don't feel a higher power working through me or for me. I am just resentful, miserable, jealous, lonely, etc.. it seems like all of the other people in my AA program feel their higher power (or what they define it as) and it seems to be working for them. me, an empty shell most of the time.(disconnected) And I do see a therapist and I take meds, in case anybody was wondering. maybe I need to up them? Some of you have read my posts before and you most likely think I am whining again. yeah, still very lonely(alone) went on some dates, no spark.. something is wrong with me.. I don't seem to connect to anyone.. It's hard to understand what my flaw actually is, I have work, place to live, somewhat decent looking, nice family.. now, i'm whining..