We are only as sick as our secrets, MamaNature. In my opinion, coming here and sharing is as good as saying it out loud. Welcome to the forum. We're glad you're here, though very sorry for the reason you sought us out.
That little voice inside you is telling you a lot of stuff that just isn't true, but sometimes is easier to believe than the idea that another person's addiction doesn't have anything to do with you. Please stick around, consider attending a real life Al-Anon meeting, and read, read, read as much as you can stand.