Things are really bad. A lot was said tonight-he's still in Indiana and I called the police to check on him, as he threatened his life and had been using something and wasn't in his right mind. So I panicked and then got his misery, hatred, and vengeance. And as much as his heart is broken, mine is, too. From his perspective, he wants to come home period. I want some time to see his commitment to sobriety and good habits. I wanted the dream with him. I miss my sweat heart and he said some really nasty things that will never go away. I didn't want to hurt him-I wanted us. I just need time to trust. And he's off the deep end and I couldn't be more heartbroken. I worry about him. I never wanted an end. It hurts deeply and yet all I asked to consider was a sober house to continue the relationship and he went on a rampage that I'm selfish and a demon. He can be the sweetest most loving-everything I loved and cared for and he can be the nastiest, manipulative, hurtful. I want him back-his sweet innocent side. And I don't know how to mend the relationship anymore.