Originally Posted by
SoberLeigh 
I am sorry that you had that experience, aloneatlast.
LBrain mentioned Rational Recovery and AVRT; have you looked into those techniques/methods. While AA has been great for many people, it is not the only game in town.
I have just been looking at The Crash Course On AVRT it seems very promising and I think it time to shake up the destiny tree and try again.
Can I just say a big thanks to everyone for not judging me, it may seem small but I really do appreciate it. TY