Originally Posted by
CodeJob 
Here's the one realization that stopped me: I'll go pick another. I'm not fixed enough to collect another emotional dyslexic. I'm like Velcro to them. So i might as well stay and work and see where things wind up...
{nodding} Agreed.
Originally Posted by redatlanta
In order for a relationship to flourish it must grow. When one member is growing and the other is not whoa….that's a really big problem.
Agree again, and again the "measurement" of whether another is growing is so difficult to define which is why I had to ask myself other questions: Is this MY effort to control the outcome because *I'm* not patient enough? How long *am* I willing to wait - what do *I* consider a reasonable amount of time?
But again, I think if he started up an active love affair with Jagermeister every few months, my answers might be very different than they are without that component. That brings a whole different set of behaviors & mindset (in my RAH's situation) & not something that I think I can live around again.
I don't know HOW so many manage to stay with an active A honestly, we were separated during the height of RAH's drinking & then, being a closet drinker I didn't know alcohol WAS the problem until HE acknowledged it & sought help. Now that I KNOW better, I don't think I could accept it ever again.