You do have to hit your bottom. I put up with a lot of awful verbal abuse before I hit mine. I wish I had left sooner & spared myself so much pain. It hasn't been all that long since I left & I am happy. Truly happy & relieved. I wish everyone going through this would leave now to avoid the pain I went through. I do wish you would leave now, so you don't go through what I did. But I completely understand. This is your marriage & your decision. No one on here wants to see you get hurt any more than you already have.