Originally Posted by
jodigrind11 
AH says he needs to fix himself before we can ever think of being togeather again. He says he cant hurt me anymore. Says he loves me deeply but he cant keep leaving, spending my money i work for, haveing me borrowing money from my mom to bail us out, trying to find money that isnt there. Says i deserve better. Says he has to find out why he does drugs. Just wondering what everbody thinks? This is a first time hes evver said this usually its im so sorry, it wont happen again, i sick of meth, on n on n on. I feel like my soul has been ripped out!
Well, he does drugs because he's addicted to them. And he continues to use them because giving up an addiction with that order of magnitude is an extremely difficult thing to do. It's easier to continue using, consequences be damned.
In my opinion, the "whys" don't matter in terms of what you have to do for yourself. It's time to rebuild yourself, one moment at a time. This doesn't mean you won't think of him, because you will. But what it does mean is you are no longer going to allow his addiction to hold you hostage.
And that is a very powerful, very positive choice.
You can get through this. Some days, it won't feel like it. But you can get through it.