I am pleased to read that there has been developments since your first post..that seem positive right?
I find it interesting how codependency has reared its head..well, how can it not? It is my understanding that at the heart of every addict lies codependency. Makes sense doesn't it...isn't it just another form of addiction, no?
Near the end of my last brief relationship...what's become glaringly, embarrassingly obvious was my codependency. Although I had been hurt...deeply about a behaviour....I negated and discounted that hurt...I dismissed what I felt..so much so..that I was willing to overlook that painful hurt and what I knew to be true...just to reattach...just to be validated...just to get the "good stuff" back..the connection.
I abandoned my self when I felt like I was in the process of being abandoned. I know realize why and how I didn't trust my gut nor the searing pain that daggered my heart...when I knew what I knew...that day. You don't feel that kind of pain...by accident. The energy was all amok...everything was all amok.
Where is the fine line of caring for another whilst caring for ourselves? I have tremendous issues with that...knowing whose pain to feel empathy and compassion for? Who is to be there for who? I have no idea anymore.
I mean hurting people hurt people right? Where do I end and another begins? Geez...I don't know the answers to any of these.
Guess that's why I need to stay on my own for a great while.
Look forward to your update LTV.