Originally Posted by
ArtFriend 
I know intellectually that I need to stop drinking, but deep down, I almost feel like I don't care enough about myself to quit.
You care enough about yourself to address health issues (see your previous posts about medical scares). So I think something else is preventing you from quitting.
I don't doubt there are a whole bunch of things you've accomplished. A crappy childhood and self esteem issues didn't prevent success in those matters. So why should those things be a barrier to sobriety. The answer: they shouldn't.