Originally Posted by
bradley26 
Soberleigh even though i hate how drinking makes me feel i kinda want to get all my drinking in now before i finally quit for good. Am i deluding myself?
Without question. Denial and delusional thinking are trademarks of addiction and you are in the throes of both in my humble opinion. Putting off quitting until a future date is no different than simply deciding to keep drinking.
You are fortunate in that you still have someplace to live and a family that tolerates your drinking, but as you have written, even that luxury is wearing thin. Why not get serious about quitting while you still have those things?
I'd recommend you go back and re-read your posts here over the last several months as well and see if you can find a common theme.