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Its been a rubbish 7 weeks since i last posted

Old 11-05-2014, 08:40 AM
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Its been a rubbish 7 weeks since i last posted

I have been on and off the drink for a bit but it seems my dad has had enough of me which feels bad. My mum is also on the brink. I have been working out and lost more weight but the drink still gets me . I really dont want to be drinking next year as i have to get a job and am gonna be starting driving lessons in january . I cant function like a normal person with alcohol in my life and these goals ive set for the new year cannot be achieved with alcohol in my life. I want to stop now but i keep having thoughts that tell me to make the most of the next couple months and then start a fresh in the new year. Im just confused, the best thing recently is that im no longer depressed but i do have those dark feelings when i drink and the day after. I know im stupid for drinking but i really dont wanna drink next year and am trying to make the most of it while i can.
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:01 AM
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Originally Posted by bradley26 View Post
My dad has had enough of me

My mum is also on the brink

The drink still gets me

I really don't want to be drinking i have to get a job

I cant function like a normal person with alcohol in my life

I want to stop now but i keep having thoughts

the best thing recently is that im no longer depressed but i do have those dark feelings when i drink and the day after..
I say this with my heart that you should stop drinking and accept you cant drink no more put together a rock solid plan and start a full recovery


its hard at first but this is why im happy places like this exist so we can help each other out
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:05 AM
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Christ when you read it like that it looks awful.
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by bradley26 View Post
I have been on and off the drink for a bit but it seems my dad has had enough of me which feels bad. My mum is also on the brink. I have been working out and lost more weight but the drink still gets me . I really dont want to be drinking next year as i have to get a job and am gonna be starting driving lessons in january . I cant function like a normal person with alcohol in my life and these goals ive set for the new year cannot be achieved with alcohol in my life. I want to stop now but i keep having thoughts that tell me to make the most of the next couple months and then start a fresh in the new year. Im just confused, the best thing recently is that im no longer depressed but i do have those dark feelings when i drink and the day after. I know im stupid for drinking but i really dont wanna drink next year and am trying to make the most of it while i can.
Hi Bradley; there is so much in your post that is positive - working out, losing weight, wanting to get a job, beginning driving lessons, not wanting to drink next year.

The part that concerns me is the part bolded and in red (my highlighting, not yours); thoughts and talk of "making the most of it" seem contrary to the positive and committed thinking required to get and stay sober. For me, achieving and maintaining sobriety required a total person overhaul - physically, emotionally and mentally. Realizing and accepting the fact that alcohol had absolutely nothing to offer me was a key part of that overhaul.

I remember that at one point you attended AA; are you still going?
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:11 AM
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Quit drinking today. Go to an AA Meeting and start on the road to recovery
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:16 AM
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Soberleigh even though i hate how drinking makes me feel i kinda want to get all my drinking in now before i finally quit for good. Am i deluding myself? I dont think so, im just having my last hurrah and i wont be drinking in 2015. As for aa its hard for me to get there as i dont drive and even then i dont think its fo me.
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:20 AM
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these goals ive set for the new year cannot be achieved with alcohol in my life. I want to stop now but i keep having thoughts that tell me to make the most of the next couple months and then start a fresh in the new year.
So you are going nowhere with your life, have no job, no driving license (not sure if you are still living or not in your parents basement but probably yes), you are overweight and not feeling good about yourself, your parents are sick of your behind and your AV is telling you to make the most of it?
Do you realize that this is crazy talk? this is your addictive voice at work not Bradley's.
I am with the others: quit today and get yourself to an AA meeting.
You will always have one excuse or another not to quit: first it is the holiday seasons, then Valentine's day is coming and you have no gf so you want to make the "most of it"
then Easter will be there with all those liquor chocolates etc.
Today is a VERY good day to stop the madness.
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:23 AM
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Bradley, a lot of bad stuff can happen between now and 2015. You could fall deeper into addiction; the drinking could bring on another bout of depression - what if you don't escape the next bout; you could fall and do irreparable damage (a friend of mine fell down a flight of stairs last year while drinking, incurred irreversible brain damage, spent 14-1/2 months hospitalized and in nursing homes in a terrible state, and died - this kind of stuff happens to real people in real life); the list goes on and on. I don't want to see any of this happen to Bradley.

You have a LIFE ahead of you, Bradley - truly LIVE it; don't fake it. Start now, friend.
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:24 AM
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Bradley there is no last hurrah you say what your doing is awful yet want to continue


this is your choice but try to realise your not thinking correctly if you know your losing and continuing

why carry on losing

Wheres the hurrah in losing

your choice tho i wish you well friend i suggest stick very close to SR
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:48 AM
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So many people die from this, Bradley.

Not only that but you could do irreversible damage to your liver, your hips, your heart, your brain.

Do some googling about the physical ramifications of just drinking. Never mind the possibility of an accident or overdose. You only get one chance with the body you are abusing, and sometimes it doesn't warn you before it shuts down.

Please stop drinking today. There is always going to be some reason to put it off - no good reason, though.
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Old 11-05-2014, 09:52 AM
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How, exactly, does one "make the most" of drinking?

If you truly wanted to stop, you'd have a much different plan.
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Old 11-05-2014, 10:00 AM
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Last hurrahs just lead to more drinking. I had hundreds of last hurrahs.
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Old 11-05-2014, 10:20 AM
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Why wait? turn your life around today and make it happen!!

My mind used to always convince me tomorrow was the best day to quit, but months and years slipped by!!

You can do this Bradley!!
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Old 11-05-2014, 10:38 AM
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I erased a bunch of stuff and started over.

How about starting over now so you don't have a couple more months to erase yourself.

Setting a date to stop drinking is always a bad idea. Because you'll always come up with a reason to wait one more day.
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Old 11-05-2014, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted by bradley26 View Post
Soberleigh even though i hate how drinking makes me feel i kinda want to get all my drinking in now before i finally quit for good. Am i deluding myself?
Without question. Denial and delusional thinking are trademarks of addiction and you are in the throes of both in my humble opinion. Putting off quitting until a future date is no different than simply deciding to keep drinking.

You are fortunate in that you still have someplace to live and a family that tolerates your drinking, but as you have written, even that luxury is wearing thin. Why not get serious about quitting while you still have those things?

I'd recommend you go back and re-read your posts here over the last several months as well and see if you can find a common theme.
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:02 AM
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Bradley, I think you're being very foolish. You never know what can happen when you drink. You could get in bad trouble. Why not quit drinking today? A lot of bad things can happen between now and next year.
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:09 AM
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Originally Posted by bradley26 View Post
...even though i hate how drinking makes me feel i kinda want to get all my drinking in now before i finally quit for good. Am i deluding myself?
Yes.

You make it sound like your quitting in 2015 is a done deal. You've been a member of SR since Nov 2012, and struggling to quit drinking the entire time. And now you want to launch this new promise of sobriety with a drinking spree.

Delusional? More like the insanity of alcoholism.

If you are intent on quitting, quit. Today.
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:17 AM
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Yes, your deluding yourself. Or actually, your alcoholic mind is deluding you. And it will find another way after your planned "making the most of it" to continue deluding you as well, until you have had enough, when you are sick to your heart and soul, when alcohol has robbed you of all your dreams, choices, opportunities, relationships, the list goes on.
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:18 AM
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Hi Bradley

we are all here to support you.

I think the rational Bradley knows what best, and you have done wonderful things in your life recently. Next year looks great too.

Ignore that voice that is telling you to drink; as others have said, it's just your AV trying to tempt you.

You can do this
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Old 11-05-2014, 12:32 PM
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i kinda want to get all my drinking in now before i finally quit for good. Am i deluding myself?
yeah I think you're deluding yourself. I remember making a similar bargain with myself Brad.

So I drank the rest of the year...through Xmas, through Jan 1...

By March of the New Year I figured this wasn't the year I was going to stop.

The best day to quit is now.

You have no idea how quickly & much deeper you can dig yourself a hole in a couple of months.

Don't you think the hole's deep enough already?

D
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