Diary of a Mad Cow, Part IX: "Moo & Improved"
Hello Kittens, is Cow! You maybe remember me from such tediously hopeless and relentlessly bereft threads as “Diary of a Mad Cow, Part I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, and VIII.” You maybe thinking, "Sweet Jesus, I just can no take yet more postings from that sad, dreary Cow!" And who can blames you?! Hell, even I only make it through one Season of True Tori. But, I has announcement. I think maybe you sit down, yes? I SAID SIT DOWN!
Okay, so recently, for first time in longer time than I remember… I chuckled. Okay. Alright. Calm the hell down! I not rolling about with laughter or anything, but I has to say, it feel really good. It has happen more than a couple time now.
But Cow, you ask? How is this possible?! You has always been our belove total morose anhedonic zombie Borg! Well, first, I finally cut head off snake and let go of daily caffeine. I still using little bit, but only as medicine if a depressive state become truly catastrophic. Also, I find right combination of nootropics that starting to help shift and rebuild brain chemistry. Was lot of trial and error with these supplements, 10 year of it, but it final seem to be combination that working. I hopes to god it not like “Awakenings” and it only gonna work for month and then everything go to stone cold anhedonic hell again, but I choose to think positive.
No get me wrong, Cupcakes. I still mostly existing in the turbulent and fragile extremes of anhedonia and depressions, but is now tiniest of slenderest of sliver of crack in what has seem like lifetime of unrelenting darkness, so by gods, I’ll take it!
I had thought to wait ‘til I feeling more confident that this is real change before posting again, but, truth is, I missing you guys. So fair warnings: I still on trecherous recovery rollercoaster for sure, but whether I headed for true turning point or just gonna careen off rails in fiery crash again, I wish for you to be with me.* Hell, you has come this far, right?
*In event of fiery crash, Cow not liable for any physical or psychological injuries, including, but no limited to, dismemberment, incontinence and post traumatic cow disorder. If you experience death lasting more than 4 hour, see you doctor immediately.
[last part here -
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-value-21.html ~ D]
Last edited by Dee74; 11-04-2014 at 06:20 PM.