I say this light-heartedly but it's not far from the truth - a share in the UK goes along the lines (in a monotone voice, staring at the floor) ... My Grandad died and then my Gran blew over the cliff with her wheelchair on fire... I wanted a drink but the cash machine wouldn't let me have any money'
I mean JesusH - Dolly parton couldn't come out with it.
You might think I'm joking but it REALLY IS that depressing
