Aussie, sending you storm-free, deep breathing, comfortable vibes ****************}}}}}}}}
I know how my anxiety/panic attacks feel. I can't speak to yours. In my experience, they are a negative feedback loop. When I think about the stressor, it starts a chain that leads to more and more and more and more bad feelings. The opposite is true for me.
A KEY FOR ME is PRACTICING the calming behaviors WHEN I'M CALM. I learn to do them automatically and successfully. KEY HERE is that it's been done WITHOUT the stress. I get to feel the rewards of a calming mantra or breathing or gentle stretching....my brain learns "Oh! When I do this, I feel good." Then gradually I can apply the calming behavior when a SMALL amount of stress arises....and be successful in keeping calm under a LITTLE bit of stress. I build the muscle of self-calming gradually. See where this goes?
What's key for me is that it's absolutely useless to try to calm myself once I'm gone off the cliff and am in free fall. When my mind has gone terrifyingly blank, like. Or I'm overcome by a wave of panic. The key is to be all prepared and calm and know how to help myself BEFORE it happens.....so when it starts I can be confident and calm and happy and know what to do.
I am learning that I can take care of myself, slowly and surely. And key for me is consistently doing small good things for myself every day.
Has anyone suggested you try something like this? I can provide links if you want.
I can only relate to how my yucky stuff feels, and I know it was pretty wretched.
I love you, and I send you these words in the hopes that they are helpful.