Originally Posted by
carmen303 
is personality #1 (the one I loved) the REAL him --- if he received treatment, pulled himself together, became sober?
There is no "real" him and "alcoholic" him--it is all one person. And sadly, there is no way to know what he'd be like if he decided he wanted recovery and worked for it.
I think it's common and normal for the partner of the A to wonder about the "real him", but the real him is the drunk, angry, sarcastic, bitter, mean one every bit as much as the sweet, thoughtful, funny one. That is surely the case w/my A, and I believe you'll see a lot of people saying the same if you read other threads here.
There is a saying around here--"he is NOT his potential. He is who he is right now. If this is the best it ever gets, is that good enough?" It sounds like you've decided that it's
not good enough. I'd say that's a healthy decision.