Originally Posted by
cazzap06 
Not everyone is highly educated , some children have to attend the local possibly not so 'good' schools , many children have problems with learning , it is not laziness , it is just what comes naturally
If my GS ever comes on a forum when an adult ( he is Autistic ) and people won't even READ his posts because his grammar isn't correct I would find that extremely hurtful and even offensive / judgmental
I am not saying I am never judgmental but it could be HURTFUL to others and make them feel bad about themselves and self conscious , even though it's 'just your thing'
Perhaps it is a perfectionist thing , but I don't know how to fix it , would just say look at the bigger picture and the heart of a person and feel compassion for people who don't mind their p's and q's some people can just about GET THROUGH THE DAY let alone be BOTHERED about if their grammar is correct! x
Eg homeless mans sign ''pleese fed me aint etain all day lorng'' that would drive you MORE MAD than the fact that the lives of so many have become so helpless and hopeless and it is a SAD situation and I DON'T mean the spelling or the ruddy grammar ;-) lol
Hi, Cazza and All ~
I'm new to SR and seeing so many recovery branches in one place is really neat. Long before I became an alcoholic myself (40 y.o.), my father was an alcoholic. I didn't come by the 12 Steps through Al-anon, but I would hope that the Steps are practiced in a similar way. If I'm out of bounds here for Al-Anon practices, please let me know.
There are good reasons why I was encouraged to stick to my own experience, strength and hope rather than opinon/feelings/reactions about a topic. When I begin sharing opinions and passing out guilt trips, others go on the defensive. I get nailed and others have defenses that are likely to come up and impede the healing process.
It took getting my toes stomped on more than once to get the principle down, but I finally understood: "The object is to clean up *my* side of the street and leave yours alone." I can't work on me from 'over there'. Occasionally, I still have to sit on my fingers when something 'over there' looks inviting but I can't *identify*. <g>
"Opinions are useless; experience everything." Having a *reaction* to a topic and having *experience* with a topic are often different things (though not always because sometimes I react to something that I'm currently denying that I do <g>). Isn't AA interesting? <s>
Another aspect of the 'perfectionist grammar' topic that came to light, for me, was that I had a life-long envy of the minds of the typical male. I had three older brothers who never let me forget that I was a girrrrrrrrl. My one brother had difficulty with spelling (to this day, degrees and all, still spells the way it sounds). My greater apitutde with spelling, etc. gave me 'positive self-esteem' as a child - school became my 'first addiction' in life. Good grades always made the yucky insides feel better. My first 'filler' for the hole-in-the-soul. ;-)
Of course, as I learned doing the 12 Steps, positive self-esteem and negative self-esteem are two sides of the same coin. I only got positive self-esteem by squashing others/'better than' attitudes and the negative side was wallowing/depression of perceived/actual inferiority.
The stuff I've learned in the 12 Step Process that could have been taught in school and saved us a lot of grief is astounding, to me.
Best to All,
Pamela