Having dated enough losers to fill a school cafeteria, and at one time being far more into the superficiality of men - good looking, what do they drive, what do they do, how much money do they make, how articulate are they etc….I think I can speak well on this subject. Those little pet peeves are so unimportant to character. RAH hair sprays his hair. Its dated, I don't like it, it would look better if he didn't, and he won't stop. Oh well. I proudly go anywhere with him. He is faithful, and loves me to pieces.
So here's my thinking on this: One, you're absolutely right -- I've been through hell in a marriage with a guy who never misspelled a thing. After that, I don't care if the man I share my life with leaves his dirty socks on the living room floor. I pretty much don't sweat the small stuff and most everything
is small stuff.
I do think, though, that it's OK to have preferences. My sister could never have married a guy who can't build a garage or fix the plumbing. My best friend wouldn't have married a guy who didn't purchase his suits custom-made from a tailor. Neither one of them can spell worth a dang. My husband is not extremely handy and he hates suits -- but he spells like a god!
It's just different preferences.