I can only imagine.
The reason I can only imagine is that I didn't have the willingness or the strength to accept and choose another path at 22.
It took me nearly 20 years beyond that point to finally accept that I was living a terrible, tragic life relative to what it's really meant to be.
At 22, I was also surrounded. Surrounded by drink and drugs and it seemed everywhere I looked that was the case. Even in my 40s, I can look around me in my community and in the world and see ample evidence that I am "All Alone" in my choice of sobriety.
But... the truth is; there are many who walk this path. Even at 22. It will take some time and adjustment and I SO deeply understand how it can feel lonesome and isolating. But there is a whole rich, meaningful, wonderful world out there that doesn't revolve around pouring poison into our bodies. There are incredible people who do incredible things and - AMAZINGLY - they do them without being drunk.
It takes a while to really shake off the haze and start to see this. The chemical balance in our brains, the addicted self, all take time to leave behind so that we can begin to clearly see. But trust me, it happens and oh.... OH my GOD.... to be gifted with the ability to see this at 22 instead of 40!!!!
You have a tremendous opportunity before you. It is the chance to give yourself the gift of your life. Literally.
Be strong, keep posting here, try new things that don't involve being drunk, drinking, drugging or being around people who are. Even if your heart's not in it right now... just do those things. Try new stuff. Even if it's just going to the library to look up some topic you've always been interested in and read about it. Sure; still solitary, but new and sober and interesting. Go to a coffee house and just read a book and say hello to people. Get out of your house and out of yourself. Look up some community outreach classes. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Just DO new stuff and shake up your life and expose yourself to other situations where people are not drinking. You'll begin to see how much there really is. You'll begin to meet others who don't build their life around toxins. You'll make connections. You'll stimulate new thinking and you'll build a foundation of awareness that will help you shift from feeling isolated, alone and missing out - to feeling blessed and excited and amazed and GRATEFUL.
Don't give up.... you will be amazed.