Everyones scared of what sobriety might be. I promise you that no one would stay in recovery if they felt they lost out on the deal.
Getting sober was the best thing I ever did - it wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty to begin with - but neither was my drinking life.
It's a leap of faith - but it's not much of a risk really...many have gone before you, waterfalls. It works out - it really does
I really hope you decide to give yourself the chance
D