too much on my mind
Today is my little girl's 9th birthday. I have not seen her in 3 years. I gave my girls up in my divorce, thanks to my addition. I didn't want them to grow up with that crap around them. Every year on thier birthdays I have a hard time. Last year was the hardest, because it was my first year. I'm not saying that I don'tthink of them through-out the year as well. It's just especially hard on thier birthdays. In the past I always went out and got as high as I possiably could. I just wanted to numb myself and not deal with it. But I look at it now, and realize that there is a better way to deal. Even today, I think to myself...one litttle line won't hurt...but then I re-evaluate it and realize that I will be throwing a years hard work out the window. I have to say that this place has done wonders for me. It's great to just get out what I need to say, even if no one responds...I still get out what I need to. Thank all of you for the advice that you have offered. Lindee