Anger can be a good motivator; it helps us re-build our boundaries only stronger. As a mom dealing with my son’s alcohol issues I fully understand where you are at and how you got there, because I’ve traveled that same path.
There is nothing wrong with us getting into our own lifeboat and heading to shore, we can always go back for survivors. If your son choices recovery you can support his efforts from a stronger healthier place.
((hugs))