I think it's definitely good to wait.
I played a gig yesterday where it was beers to the left of me and tokers to the right - I have nearly 8 years sober now...I wouldn't advise anyone to do that until they're really sure of their recovery.
Before I came to SR I tried the face the beast and spit in his eye/Chuck Norris approach and tried being obstinately sober many times...
it didn't work for me - I actually grew weaker rather than stronger.
I needed time away from that stuff to grow some 'sober muscles'.
When you're weight training, you lift easy weights first...and work up.
Jam night at a coffee place sounds good Tom
D