New Here
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone here. I'm an alcoholic, have been for many years now. I'm in my mid thirties, and I still have a pretty good life - a great fiance and two beautiful children, a great job, and everything I could really ask for. Except for the fact that I am an alcoholic. I've come to realize my brain is differently wired from the other 90%. I can't "take it or leave it" when it comes to alcohol.
I have been obsessing over it for the past 15 years. I can't have one or two beer, I just don't have the chemical makeup and body chemistry to be able to do that. So I have to stop, before I lose everything. I have made some incredibly terrible decisions over the past 15 years, all as a result of drinking alcohol. I have put myself in very dangerous situations and somehow avoided doing irreversible damage to myself and others. I've driven drunk so many times, I've lost count. I can't even explain all the things I've done. I took some online tests where they ask "Am I an Alcoholic?". Like the Michigan test amongst others. One where if you score 5 points or above, you are considered an alcoholic (some people have argued that it should be 7 points or above). I don't need to worry myself over that argument, because I scored 30! Crazy. How am I still alive? How do I still have people in my life who care about me? How do I still have a job, a house, and some (not much) money in the bank? It's truly a miracle. But I know it won't last. Because alcoholism is progressive, and it has been getting worse. I don't want to drink my life away. I don't want to miss my kids growing up right before my eyes.
I am officially a non-drinker. I love this place, so much support and fantastic stories. I gain strength from not only the success stories, but the falls too. I wish you all the best and I look forward to posting on here more often.
Have a great day all.