Originally Posted by
Thatdeliveryguy 
I have insurance, I know what I need, but I refuse, I guess my paranoia and stupidity are going to kill me. I don't know what to say, or do anymore. I do things that are bad and don't help me, but I always don't seek help. Weird right, why wouldn't I seek help, I think that every day. I should use my medicaid, and get help.... I am happy to have insurance again, but I am scared, changing scares me, I am paranoid, trusting people and things is hard for me, it took me months to trust all of you on SR>
Okay...I may be wrong but the whole "I don't trust people, changing scares me, I am paranoid".
Smacks of pure ADDICTIVE VOICE to me...
It's your Ego protecting your addiction. Just my two pennies...
It's my understanding (and wiser folks round here may confirm or deny this) that often active addiction can present or manifest in ways that resemble mental health or personality disorder issues...
But when in fact the addiction is removed...
All signs of personality disorders or mental health issues miraculously disappear.
Let go Jeremy. Get help.