i was in your shoes tdg both me and my ex wife were drinking daily and getting drunk and we clung on to each other as no one else would put up with us,
our older children got fed up with us and our drunken fighting and our 2 yougest kids ended up being removed from our care as they were not going to school and we would have police call outs to our house almost every week for something or other that would all be drunkeness
what a mad world to live in and yet the very thing we needed ( the drink ) was the very thing that was bringing about our destruction
how did it end up in this mess ? we were once a loving coulpe both sober and we brought our kids up well
i had a business and she was working also so money was good we had everything in life and our kids were our life and happy little bunnys
yet withint a space of 8 years drink had changed everything to a pair of drunks at war with each other and no sense of right or wrong in terms of how we behaved
of course the next day would be full of guilt shame and remorse for what ever happends the night before but having another drink soon let me forget it all
on and on this madness goes until i ended up with nothing and no one left.
i look back on the madness and all that i lost and still i am amazed at just how powerful booze is when your stuck in it
the only way out is to be done with drinking, i dont know what its going to take you before you finally admit defeat and start the journey for recovery ?
that is up to you and how much more your prepared to lose and carry on drinking ?
i dont know how you are getting money for the drink ? or to pay for an internet conection ? as that for me soon dried up as i didnt work and lived off my business savings as my business went pair shaped, i was an hgv driver and i lost my lience for drink driving so that was my business gone and yet another poor me excuse to carry on drinking
the world was a cruel place to me back then as everything was interfering with my drinking and its not fair i would moan
how did i get out of the madness of it all ?
i went to aa meetings day and night, if i wanted a drink i would be at a meeting or try to contact someone in aa some way
i was lucky as i had some good people in aa who checked on me and kept an eye on me and were there for me when i needed them
i had to swallow my pride and admit i can not do this my way anymore, i can not stay sober without help
your one very lucky guy with the amount of help that is there for you if you want it, not only is aa there 24 /7 free of charge but you have online help, there are rehabs there are all sorts of help around today that were not around many years ago
so why dont you do something about it and take the help that is there for you ?
or carry on like your doing and its simple end up with nothing left
this is the madness i find most fascinating with dealing with people is how come some give it up with ease and it doesn't cost them much in terms of losing things and yet others will pursue with it till the gates of hell open up and they have nothing left
i hope you will find it in yourself to at least give help a try and end the constant struggle or try to end it
there is a whole new world out there being sober its never a perfect world but its a sober way to live that is on offer but it takes a huge leap into the unknown by just giving it a try,
i hope you can see all the people who have shared on here and in many of your posts you have made that people know what there talking about, some of us have been were you are and most importanly have come out from were you are and are now sober people living good lives
so if you want it then you will have to do what we have all had to do and thats get help and give in
good luck to you