At some point, rehab may not be an option anymore TDG. You could lose your insurance, or even worse. Your constant cycle of quitting meds and drinking every so often isn't allowing your body/mind to develop any sense of normalcy either. Then only way that will ever be possible is if you stop drinking completely. Rehab will allow you to do that. It's all there waiting for you, but you have to make the choice to take action. It's really as simple as that....you can choose.