Fear kept me drinking too.
Eventually the fear of what would happen if I *didn't* stop drinking won out...
but do you really want to spend 20 more years on this before that happens to you, man?
Recovery is a gamble - but it's not a very big one really Jeremy.
There are a *lot* of happy and healthy folks here as proof it works.
I hope you will take this in the spirit it's intended and not harshly: one thing we can both agree on, J, is this way ain't working, my friend.
Fears not a good enough reason to keep you down, J.
D