uptightbitch

My brother is a drug addict, going on 20 yrs, he is divorced but produced 4 children before the divorce. Both he and my ex-sister-in-law have been found unfit parents by the courts and lost custody of the children. My mother has custody! Retired and back to raising young children. Unfortunately my mother cannot give up on my brother for more reasons that just desperation to see him free from the drugs and healthy. She has an absurd hope that he will chose to be clean to become a full time parent to his children. She is clinging to this hope because now, after deciding she was the best person to take custody of my nieces realizes that she can't do it for the long haul.
Despite that the courts deemed him unfit and initially said he couldn't be alone with the children (due to his addiction and related anger issues) she has moved him into the home she is raising the children in. Initially this was sort of ok as he did one month of rehab and appeared to be attending meetings and staying somewhat clean. But I learned later that this was a very short lived exercise. My mum lied and hide his return to alcohol and then drug abuse.
I committed to supporting my mum in caring for my nieces by traveling to the town they live in very two weeks to let her escape for the weekend and taking the kids for a few weeks in the summer so she could get away on a very much earned and deserved holiday. I managed to keep this up for a year and a half, and less frequently for another 6-8 months. BUT when I discovered she was lying and hiding my brothers return to alcohol and then drug use and abuse I felt betrayed. It is often as bad or worse than it used to be. My last three trips up to help out have been complete disasters. Drug binges or the aftermath have dominated the visits. As I hadn't been there for a while, because my mum said she didn't need me because my brother was able to handle watching the kids and she could take her breaks that way, I had no idea what was going on.
Couple problems:
I think my mum could be jeopardizing my nieces ,even if only their mental health by continuing to expose them to the drug addict.
It takes me as much as two weeks to recover emotionally from the visits.
I believe that I am enabling her, making it easier for her to enable my brother.
I want to stop but I fear for my nieces. I feel like I have to stay in the cycle. Having said that I have withdrawn a great deal and just need to figure out how to keep distancing myself. BUT, again I fear for my nieces.