Originally Posted by
Argnotthisagain 
I have a hard time feeling anger, except at targets like bad drivers and politics. LoL.
Seriously, though, my go to emotion when I'm struggling is despair, self-pity, isolation, suicidal thinking. Also a long history of doing that--not a whole lot of other options.
It's frustrating. Been especially tough lately, because my three friends who I opened up to the most have all gotten busy with other things---two have found new relationships and I no longer exist. My other dearest friend who was a real support (it went both ways, too) has gotten a job, and her relationship is improved, so she has no time for me either.
Of course I feel sorry for myself! Once you get wired a certain way, it's really hard to re-route.
Arg-
I can so relate to what you posted. This was me for 36 years of my life (I am getting ready to turn 38).
I heard a great quote that has helped me with anger/sadness. Anger is depression turned outwards, and depression is anger turned inwards.
That really helped me to be more open to feeling anger for the first time.....at least I was finally going to get it OUT, instead of stuffing it in.
Anger for me (as an emotion I did not feel for so long) has been freeing, it has helped me to move and start doing instead of stewing. I know this is not everyone's experience with anger but I have always been known as the calm, peaceful one (I just beat up myself instead). This experience is showing me that ignoring my feelings and pretending they don't exist (I am not saying that is what everyone else was doing), does not help me either.