Originally Posted by
lizatola 
I'm sure another wave of anger will hit me once I don't live in the chaos anymore and I have a chance to decompress. Yet, I believe that Al Anon and recovery in general have given me the tools to face it. Like Lillamy said, I realized that I had to feel it and walk through it or else I'd be stuck being angry forever and replacing that anger with secondary emotions such as sadness, depression, guilt, or fear.
Liz-
It is interesting because overall my anger level is down about the situation until I lost my dog a couple of weeks ago. She was special needs and had a lot of them.
That has helped me to sink into a new level of discomfort, anger and sheer frustration at the situation I let myself stay in for so long. It has some familiar themes, but it is hitting a deeper piece for me. I know it won't be there forever. I don't think I could have gotten to this piece when I was in the midst of seperating, divorce etc. I had to get some emotional depth for myself first (I am so slow about the emotional stuff).
When in this stuff (again). I have to remember that when a wound needs to heal you have to dig out all the infected tissue. Only then can you close the skin up and allow it to heal. If you just close the skin up with the infection underneath it will only prolong your healing time. It is the latter that I tried to do for so long.
I really am blessed that I had a loved one with an addiction. I don't think that I would have been so uncomfortable otherwise and I would not have gotten to this stuff without the hurt of where I was being greater then the hurt of looking at this stuff.