Hello, I just wanted to say that I empathize completely. What you are going through is very, very hard, but you have the fortitude to come here and post about what you're struggling with, and by doing so, you have helped me, so thank you for that.
Good luck with your therapy group. I did a 16 week relapse prevention group through an addictions agency, and I was terrified, but it was a very good experience, I felt very safe, so hope your plan works out.
Congratulations on all your hard work! Don't give up!