Hi muffin2, welcome.
I struggled with AA at first, I used to sit and roll my eyes hating being there. Talks of "higher powers" and people being overly nice and helpful really used to get my goat
I was told just bring the body and the head will follow. I did, for months and something eventually clicked. I take from AA what I want to and give back what I can. It's your recovery.
It's not for everyone but that along with SR saved my life.
Wishing you well.
L x