It's good to see you Oak
I think many people think that recovery should be a straight line and that every year we rack up we get farther and farther away from having to deal with 'recovery stuff'.
That's not been true with me. Every year has bought its challenges (not just recoverywise) and every challenge brings a response.
sometimes that response has been the awakening of 'old feelings' and old desires, however faint, and muted.
It's not a struggle per se anymore, but I agree it's something that needs regular maintenance
SR is here for us guys as much as it is the newcomers Oak. I hope you'll check in a little and vent and reach out, and let us know how you're doing with your recovery and your plans
D